Spirituallity

Side note: My father appears to have become very spiritual as of late, I'm not sure how I feel about this. I read over his Blog entries and it all seems a little bit ... much for lack of a better term right now. He does seem to feel better about himself for the most part, but honestly I believe in these types of things less and less every day. If there is one thing that frightens me it's death and I used to think that there was something after it all. However, the more I dwell on it the more I have come to realize that the light prolly just turns off and that's it, you just cease to be. I have come to feel as though spirituallity and religion are just masks that we put on to keep that fear at arms length, to hold onto the hope that there is more to all of it than this husk of flesh we live in and these awkward lives we lead. Call it what you will but it seems to me that everything that is left in God's hands seems to decline. The planet, the war, my Mother ... it feels like not enough people want to claim responsibility for their own actions in some ways, or they simply don't wish to do anything about a situation that something needs done about because they don't have the right answer, or resourses, or funds to make it happen.
My grandfather said to me once "Son (I kinda like it when he calls me that as I feel we have never been that close) anyhow he said ... Son, I hate to tell you this but if you don't have faith in these kinds of things you never will." I have come to discover that he is a vey wise man and he is exactlly right. You can't force yourself to believe in something that you just don't believe in. I tried very hard for a number of years to believe in it, buy into it, whatever you want to call it ... in the end I simply don't believe in religion and spirituality. Some day my light will turn off and that will be that, I will simply be no more. I am not expectiung anything more when it's all done
I don't have spirit guides telling me where to go, and the only time I have ever witnessed any types of animals doing strange things is when I was under the influence of some narcotic, I am fairly convinced that this is and always has been just a trip and nothing more, let me tell you what I do believe in.
Someone I admire a great deal once said "I don't think about all that stuff I just try and work hard everyday." When she was asked about religion, I think that is really all you can do. Do what you can to be the kind of person you want to be, good or bad. I do believe in Karma to a certain extent, and I can hardly argue that the world seems to have a balance. Bad people tend to get what they deserve, at the same time now and then bad things happen to good people. One thing you can always count on is bad things happening in life. Trying to avoid these things is fruitless and impossible and dealing with them will make you hard as a coffin nail, it will make you a stronger person to go through some hardship and adversity in life, God will have little to do with it, and the only person responsible for you is yourself. Live the best you can everyday, try and have fun and enjoy life as much as you can because it's short. At the end of the day in this age it all tends to be about money anyway, so don't worry about things to much. Usually they all work out.

These are the rantings of a very tired mind, take them for what you will and what they are worth