Happy new year
Went to the new years bash at vox bar, a few bands played. Two chinese ones and a western band. The western band has a guy I know as their guitarist, he never tunes his instruments and they sound like garbage because of it. I got some video of the other two but they are to big to get on youtube right now. ASF's are very hard files to work with, i need to try to find a way to convert them to AVI's. The internet is working a little better but not up to full capcity yet. The day is coming close that there may not be a job, but I have a better feeling about things so far, if not I have a few other things lined up so I am not to worried. I am broke though, hopefully I can get an advance on my next check. I was very generous with myself and a few other things during christmas.
I find myself thinking about Carrie a lot lately. We may have done some bad things to each other, but at the same time it seems as though we should be together. It's a very confusing mess of feelings for me, I am not sure how to desipher them yet. At the same time there is a staggering lack of communication between us that I find uncomfortable. The internet isn't that hard to get use of for a short time, even if you don't have it. I feel as though she is reading my emails and simply not responding to them, I could be wrong, but I know her pretty well and she just doesn't go that long without at least checking her email. I would really want her to come here and see me for months at a time, thsi really isn't something she can easily do, but we haven't even discussed it really. I feel like it's something we can work out, I'm willing to put equal effort and cost into it if need be. I am just tired of being alone and women here don't seem to give me a second look. Besides Carrie understands me ... well she used to.
I foudn myself looking out over the city today and realized a couple of things. It was new years day and I saw another year that I really never thought I would see, it's amazing that it's 2007. Secondly I was suprised at how china has evolved as a culture, I say it again, as hard as they are trying to be westernized, they are way ... way off. You may wonder if I like these people, and the only answer I can muster is ... Sorta. There is an incredible lack of courtesy in this country, these people are seldom curteous to each other, much less me or lesser forms of life. Then I began to wonder why, there has to be a reason for it right? Hope may very well be the answer, most of the people here have little hope of doing anything more than they are already doing, especially if your 35 or older. It is hard to look forward to the next day when all you really have to look foward to is the same damn thing ... working 6 days a week for very little cash. Having to haggle with people like me that don't want to pay full price all the time. Lots of people that come here say they like the people the most, I wouldn't agree really. I find in many ways they frustrate me to no end. Perhaps it's because I understand them so well, before I left home I was in a very similar situation. The more I am here the more I am finding locals that i really enjoy being around. After another year or two though I think I will be happy to leave here and go elsewhere. Perhaps only time will tell.
I find myself thinking about Carrie a lot lately. We may have done some bad things to each other, but at the same time it seems as though we should be together. It's a very confusing mess of feelings for me, I am not sure how to desipher them yet. At the same time there is a staggering lack of communication between us that I find uncomfortable. The internet isn't that hard to get use of for a short time, even if you don't have it. I feel as though she is reading my emails and simply not responding to them, I could be wrong, but I know her pretty well and she just doesn't go that long without at least checking her email. I would really want her to come here and see me for months at a time, thsi really isn't something she can easily do, but we haven't even discussed it really. I feel like it's something we can work out, I'm willing to put equal effort and cost into it if need be. I am just tired of being alone and women here don't seem to give me a second look. Besides Carrie understands me ... well she used to.
I foudn myself looking out over the city today and realized a couple of things. It was new years day and I saw another year that I really never thought I would see, it's amazing that it's 2007. Secondly I was suprised at how china has evolved as a culture, I say it again, as hard as they are trying to be westernized, they are way ... way off. You may wonder if I like these people, and the only answer I can muster is ... Sorta. There is an incredible lack of courtesy in this country, these people are seldom curteous to each other, much less me or lesser forms of life. Then I began to wonder why, there has to be a reason for it right? Hope may very well be the answer, most of the people here have little hope of doing anything more than they are already doing, especially if your 35 or older. It is hard to look forward to the next day when all you really have to look foward to is the same damn thing ... working 6 days a week for very little cash. Having to haggle with people like me that don't want to pay full price all the time. Lots of people that come here say they like the people the most, I wouldn't agree really. I find in many ways they frustrate me to no end. Perhaps it's because I understand them so well, before I left home I was in a very similar situation. The more I am here the more I am finding locals that i really enjoy being around. After another year or two though I think I will be happy to leave here and go elsewhere. Perhaps only time will tell.
posted by goemonronin at 2:32 PM
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