The green hat

I never see anyone wearing the green hat, the only people wearing green hats are beggers who find them in the garbage (Most likely from very depressed and upset husbands or boyfriends, and the army who wear both their dress hats and their winter "Ruskie" hat, they are both green. I am sure many of the "Green Hats" are rendered into shreds by several means. If you do wear a green hat in public people just look at you like a looser who is getting cheated on and doesn't mind showing it, trust me I have been there. My girl won't let me wear mine when I am with her, not because she doesn't like how it looks, but because she would get to many questions and embarrasing passing glances.
No the hat is a silent transaction between Husband/Wife Boyfriend/Girlfriend that says, "Sorry I'm cheating on you, and I quite enjoy it, and besides you have probably been doing it for months/years anyway. Divorce me if you want, otherwise don't give me any shit."
And yes, old fashioned is deffinitly something I would consider charming ... I guess I am not into charming all that much these days. I digress, it's charming and even a little cute, but it isn't for me, at least not forever. Anyway guys, time to get to work, later.